tiduschris

Why do I have that feeling?

Is jus a normal gathering that we used to have quite long ago. But his at the moment I jus felt that way when I see it.

I have a new job, a better partner, more friends around. Why that person still affect me so much?

After a little chat out, I felt better and realize that I still have that person in me and is jus hidden and it will jus surface when he think is correct time:(

Yesterday is an awkward moment when I am there but I can't put myself to look at that person. Jus hurting to do it:(

I felt stable now but still have that feeling the whole night. Guess after so long when I told myself that I am done with that person, I have get over that person, is all not true... Instead I am jus lying to everybody including myself.

Am I really done with that person? I don know...... I do not have an answer......

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"我很累很累了。想我会休息一段很长很长的时间。感谢你给了我那一点温暖。 是我太傻了吧。晚安了朋友。"

At this cross junction I have, I encounter a decision point that I am in a relationship having some problem each other and having feeling with somebody that I will tend to go for.

After long struggle, there is an outcome.
To carry on the relationship by solving the problem encounted while give up a feeling that is late is the queue of life.

Hurt and upset. Tear and heartbreak.

I told myself that I will not want another heart break, even though is not a breakup. But still is a feeling that is been given up and there will not be a second chance for both to carry on that very same moment...

That bring me to a few questions, to be love or not to be love? to be in a relationship or not to be in a relationship? To commit or not to commit? To feel or not to feel?

Confused but still I am feeling it......

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Is like one of the many I hear that it ended......

How many time I heard that from someone I know?

Well... What has relationship become....
What does relationship mean to them...

I had ended countable of them... But I tried and I make it work until I had give up on making it work......

So what does relationship mean...

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Hours, minutes, seconds

Some numbers that has its own meaning to it.

When you are question whether does it matters to you?

What will your reply be?

No, life still goes on as per normal because it jus mean another day, another week, another month or another year has past.

Yes, it made a great impact to my life.
I get to forget the bad and unhappy stuff.
I get to enjoy every happy moment of my life.
I get to make myself useful for others
I get to..........

But what is the real meaning to the question?

I matters to me that I will not know what will happen the next moment, I am awaiting currently for what is going to be happen next while thinking and recollecting the past that is been created as part of my journey...

What about you?

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Hugs... I am not alone I have company now. Somebody worth me to take care, need me and I want.... Feel love and nice.., :)

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While listening to the song true colour, I realize that my colour now is grey.

I have tried to walk out of the black, purple and blue season of my life.....

Been alone to walk through all this, I know how it felt and how it affect my life and my emotions...

I am controlling myself and I know I can do it and make it through all this...

Whatever past is past. I am not that person will jus wait for the other person to react and care or whatever to me...

Been alone to walk this life may be hard, but still I can try to carry on or rest at some rest point... I have support around to give me a tap to push me further. Some of them that I can count on, who I can relate to.

I am myself and fabulous :)

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Well I have come to a conclusion that being alone is not a bad idea....

I don need to worry so much
I don need to think so much
I don need to answer so much
I don need to please so much
I don need to tell so much
I don need to cry so much
I don need to say so much

Guess I have changes from asking and talking to shut up and listen! That is s good sign...

Well also I can go out with any one I want to go with and accompany anybody I want... Eventhough alone cause be quite upsetting but well at least I enjoy more...

Let me be myself until than ba... :D
Sleeping time...night night:)

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